


Snakes have no arms

by squidcandy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Arm Wrestling, Drinking, Drunken Shenanigans, Gen, Gift Fic, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Nohebi, Not ship centric, Rivalry, Shiratorizawa, high school get together, just implied, pure chaos basically, set before the ongoing arc but after the nationals, two years after nationals to be precise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:48:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22740490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squidcandy/pseuds/squidcandy
Summary: "YEAH! OKAY! Let's have an arm-wrestling match!"----The old Nohebi team encounters a new rival, shenanigans ensue and Yoshiya Takachiho is vibing.
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Hiroo Kouji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Snakes have no arms

"YEAH! OKAY! Let's have an arm-wrestling match!"

It started on the third day of the second-ever Nohebi boy’s team volleyball team reunion. This year, the flavour was a road trip. They wound up in the Miyagi prefecture, only because Daishou wanted to see how the monster teams of Karasuno and Shiratorizawa were doing, now that their first years were all grown up. His teammates had humoured him, only because most of them didn't really have anything better to do, and a road trip sounded fun.

They had walked into some restaurant that Suguru couldn't remember the name of, ordered way over their planned budget, and besides Hiroo who was just barely underage at the time, all of the (previously) third years had ordered themselves alcoholic drinks.

"We're gonna go all the way to see Inarizaki in Osaka next." Suguru loudly announced, lifting a glass of water into the air.

"You mean Hyogo, _senpai_." Akihiko drew out the word to emphasize his exhaustion. He had taken an unpaid break from his part-time job for this, and he still had holiday homework to complete.

"Are they even any good anymore? Suna, Ojiro and the Miya twins are all gone." Takachiho stopped shovelling meat into his mouth to speak. He looked like he was about to pass out, but his appetite raged on, unobstructed. 

"We'll go!" Numai roared, ignoring him completely.

On the other side of the table, Sou was having a seemingly one-sided conversation with Kuguri who was calmly eating his ramen, single noodle at a time.

"How’s school?"

_"Slurp"_

"Yeah, should I lend you my notes?"

_"...Sluuuuurp"_

"Right, I nearly failed that. Where are you going after graduation?"

"...Volleyball."

"Should have known. What about the newbies? Are you being a good captain?"

"Terrible."

"Guess we're not getting Nohebi to nationals, huh."

' _What the fuck_ ' Hiroo mouthed to Isumi after observing them for a few minutes. Sakishima shrugged. He was only a little bit tipsy, but Kazuma's dark aura was looming over him, threatening to drag him into incoherency along with Yoshiya and Suguru.

A clank sounded from the other side of the table. Takachiho had fallen asleep and landed face-first onto the pile of rice in his bowl. His hand moved limply towards the dwindling platter of meat.

"Oi. Takachiho! Wake up!" Seguro grabbed Yoshiya's shoulders and shook him violently. The older man snored louder in response and picked up a piece of chicken. He mashed it against his face, still asleep.

"He's sleep-eating! Someone stop him!" Sakishima exclaimed, making a grab for his classmate's chopsticks.

The table erupted into laughter as Hiroo jotted down something or the other on his scheming notepad. Or so he liked to call it. There was another reason he hadn't touched a drink yet.

Their ruckus was interrupted by the entrance of a bunch of men, looking around the same age. Suddenly, Suguru stood up and pointed at the one leading them into the restaurant

"You! Ushisomething! Schweiden Adlers!"

The man with thick eyebrows looked up.

"yEAH YOU! You used to be the Shiratorizawa captain, right? I was the Nohebi captain!"

"...Nohebi?" The word sounded foreign to him. 

"We never made it to nationals so you wouldn't know!" Numai yelled, puffing out his chest.

"That's not something to brag about, Kazuma sit down." Hiroo quipped, mere minutes away from pretending not to know these people.

"I challenge you to a volleyball match!"

From behind Wakatoshi's large figure, a mop of bright red and hot pink hair leaned out to look at them.  
' _Jesus, I’m having a haemorrhage just looking at him._ ' Koji pressed a palm to his forehead, taking a moment to bask in the horrendous clashing of maroon, neon green and pink that was this man's outfit.

"Wow. You guys are completely wasted! You really think you could take us in this state?" 

"YEAH!" Numai stood up again and Hiroo had to forcibly hold him back from climbing onto the table.

"Hmm. How about something more lowkey...? like arm-wrestling! Ay?" The redhead, who Hiroo gradually recognized as Shiratorizawa's very own Tendou Satori shot finger guns at him. Ew. He felt his neck heat up under the redhead wacko's gaze for some reason. 

Hiroo watched, screaming internally at himself for being a little mesmerized when Tendou pulled off his hoodie to reveal a shirt that was somehow worse.

"YEAH! OKAY! Let's have an arm-wrestling match!" Kazuma cheered, raising his glass so abruptly that water spilt over the edges.

"Make it a tournament! So we can see who's the best." Suguru smirked. 

"There are eight of us from Nohebi, so you guys can send in any eight of your team and we'll just randomize the matchups." Koji took out his phone to open up the website.

"This'll be fun!" Satori was suddenly behind Hiroo somehow, causing him to jolt in surprise. The rest of Shiratorizawa's alumni set up the table for the match. Tendou snatched his phone from his hands the moment the webpage loaded the matchups and cleared his throat.

"First up! Our Pinch server and (Former) Setter, Semi Eita! Versus! Isumi Sakishima..." He paused.

"Our setter." Daishou supplied helpfully.

"Oh! Sakishima! Nohebi's setter! Semi semi! Go gettem! Setter battle!" Tendou waved his arms around much to the chagrin of the punk-looking silver-haired man that made himself known by sitting on the table.

"I told you not to call me that, Satori! D'you know how many Semi-Semi's I’m plagued with on twitter? All thanks to you crashing my concert?"

"No, I don't! Want me to count?"

That earned a groan from the entirety of Shiratorizawa and Hiroo. Wakatoshi looked unshaken.

Isumi and Semi sat across from the other soon thereafter, sizing each other up. Kazuma kept trying to get a cheer going, but none of Nohebi responded save for Akama who gave a half-hearted 'yayyyy?' and resumed psychic communication with Naoyasu.

He was too nice, really.

Sakishima stretched his fingers before coyly wrapping them around Eita's. 

"READY?? SET? START!" Satori yelled in English. ' _That was sooo lame_ '. Koji rolled his eyes.

Hiroo braced himself from the smack sound of defeat. But it never came. Instead, the two setters were locked in place, fighting for every centimetre. It seemed like Semi was winning. 

"I like your jacket. where'd you get it?" Isumi asked. The unassuming Semi looked to where Sakishima was pointing with his free hand and opened his mouth to reply.

"Uh, Actually I- Urk!" Eita was cut off by the loud thwack of the back of his hand slapping wood. Daishou was suddenly reminded of the fact that Sakishima was unexpectedly strong despite his stature, and that the team had only ever seen him use it when he carried two full-sized mattresses to the storeroom single-handedly.

"Whoops. Not really interested actually." Sakishima smiled innocuously as if he hadn't just used the dirtiest trick in the book.

"Damn snakes," Semi muttered but accepted his defeat. It wasn't against the rules after all. Just... around the rules.

"Awwww. You'll get em next time sem-semi~" Tendou poked Eita's cheek teasingly, and Semi slapped his hand away.

"You may have won this round Nohebi, but you won't win the next! This matchup is gonna be _Interesting_!" Satori switched to English randomly, like it wasn't the least cool thing Hiroo had ever seen.

"What is it?" Suguru said, leaning forward. His smirk grew in size. Hiroo could see why some people had the urge to punch it off his face sometimes.

"You. Me! Tendou Satori, Guess Monster versus... Hiroo Koji.... eh, what's your cool court name?"

"Middle blocker," Koji answered curtly.

"Oh boo. Boooring!" Satori pouted and sat down at the table. He waited for Hiroo to assume his place opposite him and held out his hand in anticipation. Hiroo hesitated before grabbing it and sitting down. After all, this guy looked like a clown, how strong could he _possibly_ be?

Three minutes later and Satori’s hand hadn’t budged. Koji grunted and kept pushing, and Tendou winked every once in a while. It made his stomach churn and he couldn’t quite understand why. 

A few more minutes passed, and they were still locked in the same position. Hiroo could feel the fatigue settling in. That was when Satori took the opportunity and leaned in close.

“8756774523”

“Wh-?!”

He realized too late that his guard was down, and in a flash it was over. 

“My phone number.” Satori grinned, as if what he said wasn’t absolutely incoherent and hard to follow. Hiroo sighed. Well… an eye for an eye. He of all people had no room for complaint. He loosened his grip, palms sweaty and fingers close to cramping.

“Ew. Shut up.” Koji stood and walked away, the tips of ears turning pink.

“Nope~” Tendou sauntered towards him, close enough to brush shoulders with him and pulled out- ' _that was Hiroos phone goddamnit_ '.

“Next, we have Shiratorizawa’s current ace, Goshiki Tsutomu Versus….?” Tendou nudged him, as if expecting Koji to continue his sentence. What did he expect, some wacky pose and big words? Well he was getting nothing. _Nothing._ Hiroo resolutely decided.

“Naoyasu Kuguri. Nohebi’s current ace, _and_ ,” he continued, satisfaction mounting, “Team captain.”

“Whoahoh! Battle of the aces!” Tendou interrupted him, gleefully skipping over to ‘Goshiki’ and pushing the latter towards the table. The boy, who had a cursed yet suiting bowl cut furrowed his thick eyebrows in confusion like he wasn’t sure what was happening. 

Kuguri stayed deadpan, slurping one last noodle before lumbering over to the table. Suguru felt a spike in pride as he noticed that, despite his hunch, Naoyasu was nearing Koji’s height.

The two high schoolers sat opposite each other, being goaded on by their seniors, or at least whichever ones weren’t total assholes. So not much cheering at all really.

“Three! Two! One! Go- bweh???” As soon as the redhead had signalled the start of the match, there was a flurry of movement, and Tsutomu yelped as his hand was slammed into the table. Kuguri had the same expression as usual, and after he got up to get back to his noodles again. Akama slapped him on the back.

Goshiki looked dazed, and he cradled his hand, before glaring at Kuguri. His gaze practically screamed ‘You’re my rival now, whether you like it or not.’ Naoyasu kept eating, a picture of serenity.

“Uhhhh- It seems that-” Tendou fumbles with his words, clearly expecting a more drawn out and dramatic match.

“ _Our_ Kuguri won! Nice strategy, catching him when he’s most off guard, right at the start!” Suguru leaned over the table. Koji was not surprised to find out that Daishou was still mostly himself while drunk.

“Seriously, ‘tomu?” A man with copper coloured hair commented, his voice a teasing drawl. It seemed that the rest of Shiratorizawa had snagged themselves a seat nearby.

“Next match, our setter Shirabu Kenjiro, versus-” Satori tried to raise the energy again, but Koji cut him off.

“Nohebi’s former captain, Suguru Daishou.” At the mention of his name, Suguru staggered to his feet, confident, but for _what reason_ Koji could not fathom. He staggered over to the designated arm wrestling table and leaned over it, a languid smirk overtaking his face. 

Honestly at this point, Hiroo was as tempted as the rest of Shiratorizawa was to slap it off of his face. Shirabu turned out to be the light brown (almost blonde) haired man from before. It seemed that once upon a time, his hair had been cut into stylishly uneven bangs, but it looked like this man had not slept in days and only bothered to pin back the strands that were too long haphazardly. Maybe with a good night’s sleep, haircut and enough serotonin, he would be handsome. But everything about him screamed ‘Medical student with 5 papers due this week’.

Despite his aura, he seemed to be in a good mood, confidently grabbing Suguru’s hand.

The match was short, though not as short as the one between the two Aces. Daishou faltered hardly 30 seconds in, his notoriously weak forearms buckling with ease. He was never really naturally strong, and the alcohol did nothing to help him

Hiroo nearly slapped his forehead, but the sound of two palms making contact with their owner’s faces indicated that Isumi and Akihiko had him covered.

Tendou was back, smug, loud as ever and Hiroo loathed every second of it.

“Evidently, all bark and no bite.”

“Shaddup.” was Suguru’s response as he went back to the Nohebi table to nurse his wounded pride.

“Quit embarrassing us, man!” Isumi hollered from where he was sitting on the _Shiratorizawa table the damn traitor_. The other members of the team decided that they would hang on to their team pride a bit longer, but he could see Seguro eyeing an empty spot next to Tsutomu and knew it was only a matter of time till someone suggested they join tables.

Hiroo was snapped out of his thoughts by Satori’s next announcement, Sou versus some Taichi guy, who looked pissed.

The match began, and it seemed that the two of them were evenly matched. Akama had a pitiful smile on his face, and after Kawanishi’s irritation seemed to peak (he looked like he wanted to scream) Akama’s muscles tensed and he wrested the ginger’s arm down. He was still smiling. Kawanishi sneered and went back to the table to drown his sorrows in meat and whatever dregs of alcohol he could sneak past the watchful eyes of the storekeepers.

That was about as close to a normal match that the two teams got, not considering the ridiculous height difference between Taichi and Sou.

Tendou seemed disinterested, but as soon as he read the next pair of names, his eyes lit up.

“Ushiwakaaaaaaa! It’s Ushiwaka chan, and er, Takachiho?”

Hiroo nodded slightly to indicate he had pronounced it correctly and signalled to Numai to wake the other up. Kazuma obliged, with too much enthusiasm for a man who had just been told to wake someone up. Yoshiya was violently shaken, slapped and noogied awake, and he blinked groggily, wiping the grease from his plate off his face. He had no idea what the hell was going on, but he lumbered over to the table when Suguru told him too.

Poor guy. Even Koji couldn’t root for him. He was going to be annihilated.

It went about as well as expected. Wakatoshi used his right hand instead of his left out of mercy, and _still_ won, leaving the unfortunate Yoshiya to stumble back into his meat and alcohol-induced drowsiness, dispirited but otherwise (mostly) awake due to the pain.

Takachiho polished off the last of the pork and started to eye the pile of food on the Shiratorizawa table.

“As expected of Ushiwaka!” Tendou waved his index fingers around in some sort of dance. Hiroo watched him writhe, horrified. While Satori was distracted, he took his phone back and began announcing the next match.

“Ohira Reon and Numai Kazuma.” He stated, without any of the embellishments that Tendou would have tacked on.

A large, kindly looking man got up from the table and sat across from Kazuma who had been waiting for his turn. Numai eyed Reon, taking in his build, attitude. He ended his examination with a competitive grin, holding out his hand. 

“I’m gunna crush you, fair and square.”

“That’s nice.” Reon sighed, like he received twenty competitive declarations a day.

They started pushing each other full force the moment Koji signalled them to start, bodies straining. Nobody seemed to be making any kind of headway at all, and every centimetre gained by one man was recovered almost immediately. 

Ten minutes later, and there was still no progress. They were utterly evenly matched and to make things worse, both of them had good stamina. Sweat trickled down Numai’s forehead, but he looked like he was having fun. Isumi had suggested joining the two large tables, resulting in the fruition of Hiroo’s secret prophecy. Takachiho had begun his decimation of the Shiratorizawa food, much to the horror of Kawanishi, who was seated next to him. Kuguri looked like he would join Yoshiya in inevitable food coma if the comfortable murmuring continued for a little longer.  
Isumi had actually started up a conversation with Eita, complimenting his hair and jacket, while Suguru questioned him as to ‘how desperate for a romance he was as to flirt with the enemy’. 

_Finally_ Ohira’s elbows started to shake, and Kazuma yelled triumphantly, seizing the opportunity to force the other’s hand down.

“OUUUURRRRRAH!!!!!”

“Good match.” Reon smiled and went back to the now joint tables, completely unbothered by his loss. Hiroo wondered if Sou and Ohira would get along well. They both seemed like they put up with enough bullshit every day.

Kazuma was standing on the chair now, and Koji physically held him back from removing his shirt in the middle of the restaurant, while Satori (who had been picking at his nails, uninterested as the match dragged on) resumed commentary.

“Our last match is Yamagata Hayato versus Akihiko Seguro!”

Seguro received many encouraging pats on the back from the rest of Nohebi (of course he did, he was like the team child) as he stumbled over a chair to get to the table. Hayato was more graceful and maintained a cheeky grin as he sauntered over to the table. The match was average, and ended predictably, with the older Yamagata claiming an easy victory. The aftermath was more chaotic however, Most of the team insisted on crowding around Seguro to comfort him, even though he was totally okay with the outcome. 

“Okay, so who’s the better team?” Suguru piped up after they put away the designated arm-wrestling setup.

“Well… we tied.” Satori shrugged, as Daishou gasped.

“So who won???”

Hiroo scanned the room, full of merry college students and ex-volleyball players. His eyes landed on where Yoshiya had fallen asleep on Taichi’s terrified shoulder, approximately seven empty plates stacked in front of him, no food remaining on either table.

_Yoshiya Takachiho won, you dumbasses._

**Author's Note:**

> this was a gift fic for the lovely Crownedcupcake on discord as part of the gift exchange on the Orange court discord server! I honestly had too much fun writing this, and I actually planned a lot more than this, so there is a possibility of TWO WHOLE NEW chapters somewhere in the indefinite future lmao


End file.
